OMBUDSMAN WATCHERS RESOURCE CENTRE

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Joke 9

Q: What's the problem with jokes about Local Government Ombudsmen?

A: Local Government Ombudsmen don't think they are funny whilst other people don't think they are jokes.

Joke 10

Q: How can you tell when a Local Government Ombudsman is spinning a line?

A: Their lips are moving.?

Joke 11

Q: Why is a Doctor held in much higher esteem than an Ombudsman?

A: A Doctor makes an analysis of a appalling illness whereas an Ombudsman makes you ill with a appalling analysis!

Joke 12

A man walked into a junk shop and looked around. After a while, he saw a brass rat and decided to buy it. The shop keeper said, that will be &pound5 for the brass rat and &pound1,000 for the story behind it. The man said, 'Thanks, but I'll just have the brass rat, forget about the story.' The man purchased the brass rat and left the shop. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked the more rats followed. He walked down to the canal and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he threw the brass rat into the canal and all the rats followed it and drowned. He returned to the shop where he purchased the brass rat, and when he walked in, the shop keeper said, 'Ah ha! You came back to pay the &pound1,000 for the story, right?' 'No,' replied the man, 'Just came back to see if you have any brass Ombudsmen.

Joke 13

A bad Ombudsman can let a case drag out for several years. A good ombudsman can make it last even longer.

Joke 14

Arguing with an Ombudsman is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.

Joke 15

Ombudsmen's statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

Joke 16

Ombudsman: 'The complainant alleges that you harassed and intimidated them, do you know what the penalties are for maladministration?' Council Chief Executive Officer: 'Yes, I do. They're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for harassment and intimidation.'

Joke 17

Council Chief Executive responding to an Ombudsman, 'If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you'.