Joke 18
An Ombudsman doesn't know the meaning of the word "impartial" - but then again they don't know the meaning of most words.
Joke 19
Four surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything is numbered. The second surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think the file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." But the fourth surgeon shouted, "You're all wrong. Ombudsmen are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and ass are interchangeable."
Joke 20
We'd like to see things from an Ombudsman point of view but we can't get our heads that far up a chief executive officer's ass.
Joke 21
A confectionery company is going to dedicate a their latest chocolate bar to Ombudsmen. Apparently they guarantee it will make you sick.
Joke 22
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as an ombudsman snuggling up to a beautiful woman. 'That's unfair!' he cried. 'I have to roast for all eternity, and that ombudsman gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.' 'Shut up,' barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.' Who are you to question that woman's punishment?
Joke 23
Ombudsmen shouldn't feel too bad, a lot of people have no talent!
Joke 24
An Ombudsman is about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
Joke 25
Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," makes an Ombudsman practically invulnerable.
Joke 26
We used to think Ombudsmen were a pain in the neck. Now we have a much lower opinion of them.
Joke 27
The Ombudsman promised to keep an open mind. The only problem was that everything went straight through.
Joke 28
We all spring from apes but Ombudsmen didn't spring far enough.